I barely wrote last year. Looking back, it was a roller coaster with a big heart wrenching dip and two oh-so heavenly high and blissful events.
My year started with the passing of my uncle from his battle with cancer. It was one of the most difficult situations we have experienced as a family. The worst part of situations like these is that you feel helpless and cannot understand the pain and you are dumbfounded by their will to fight until the end. I could not fathom how days were to continue as normal and I could not begin to imagine how my aunt and her two sons felt. I felt guilty that I could escape to my house where the memories of him were less ingrained in every part of the house, like I knew theirs were. However little by little, like time always does, it lessened the pain of his passing, but of course not of his memory.
On April 14th 2013, my niece was born. I had spent hours and hours in a cold chair in the hospital room with my cousin waiting for her arrival. I was not prepared for what I was to experience in that room, but I am grateful to have seen the miracle of life happening before me and the incredible strength that women have in order to make sure their child is born safely. Aubrey was long, wrinkly, and most of all beautiful. I believe at that moment I fell in love with this little soul. I could not help to think that God was mysterious. He had taken away my uncle, but he had given us little Aubrey as a gift to light our dark days.
A few days went by and it was soon my birthday and believe me I was excited. I love to feel special and I LOVE presents! HA! Anyways a few weeks before I had sent my boyfriend a homemade Zombie survival kit. I did it all, wrapping “pills”, “food”, “vaccine shots”, etc. Of course they were an assortment of candies, food, drinks in my very own customized Zombie kit logo. My boyfriend of course loved it because DUH! I am an awesome girlfriend and he then promised to make a homemade gift too. So the week of my birthday I traveled to Norfolk for an event at Old Dominion University. It was to be a one day road trip and I was to leave back with my friend that same night and we would drive in to the wee hours keeping each other awake. However Leo (my boyfriend) lives in the area and he asked me to stay because he had the gift to give me (yes we are in a long distance relationship and it sucks). I related this to my friend and she quickly agreed and assured me that I should stay. I thought that was easier than expected, I thought I would see her pursed lips and some disappointed hesitation I would not be going back with her.
I did not get my gift that Thursday night nor the next day… Hmmmph!
I just shrugged and expected that I would receive it Saturday instead, since we had decided to move the celebrations until then. Saturday morning started like any other, we decided to stuff ourselves for breakfast! When I was leaving the house there was a medium sized box on the steps. I decided to ignore it. However Leo was like pick it up. I jokingly said I wouldn’t because a raccoon could be hidden inside. Leo insisted and mentioned it was my gift. I raised my eyebrow and shrugged and picked it up and started towards the car. He kept insisting for me to open it, but I was stubborn and I told him I would in the car. When we got in the car I expected for him to start it, but he would not budge. He said he would not start the car until I opened the present. Naturally I was going to argue, because that is what I do, but I saw that it was important to him and agreed.
I looked at it closely and it was a brown wicker box. I opened it and saw what I could describe as a garden with lights. It was beautiful because the tea lights changed several colors. Needless to say I was confused, but thanked him. He laughed and told me to dig underneath because there was more. Yes! I though to myself, this makes more sense. What I found was a very old edition of my favorite book, The Pawn of Prophecy. I had several worn-out paperback copies of this book, but this one was hardcover, looked brand new, and with thick pages. I started to hug him but he was like look inside. I though he referred to the pages and nodded but I kept opening the pages to appease him. BUT then I saw an opening the book was hallowed out and there was something that looked like leather-
And then my heart stopped.
I saw a ring hanging in the middle and I felt that my heart was going to stop and felt noise rushing to my ears. I think I tried asking if this was real, but I think a mangled cry came out because all of a sudden I was choking, literally choking on emotions. I felt like I could not breath from shock and happiness, and I began to cry. He was staring at me and I could see he was emotional too. I took out the ring and with his help began to put it on. It was all surreal, especially when I heard him asking those special words.
Of course I said yes.
After the waves of emotions has passed. I realized that behind the ring he had done some redacted poetry. Its words meant the most to me because they took on a new meaning, different than the ones I read and reread every year since I was twelve. They were now words of my love and of my engagement. It was one of the happiest days of my life.
I can only hope 2014 is better!